Author Archives: William Parke

About William Parke

Independent researcher and analyst, freelance dilettante, ombudsman-at-large. Your favorite.

Protesting Too Much

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It’s hardly a secret that the AccuSo staff have a picky palate when it comes to media outlets. So it stands out acutely when one of our favorite publications stoops to shoveling propaganda for the powers that be, like we see in a Foreign Policy opinion piece just yesterday:

[P]art of the goal: restoring Russia as a leader of world opinion after the reputational damage it suffered in Ukraine, muscling in as a power broker that needs to be consulted in important crises far from its borders and sphere of influence […] But even members of the reliably shrill pro-Kremlin chorus seem to admit that nobody but Russia likes this configuration — and that Russia, like Pushkov said, doesn’t really need this at all.

Sadly, FP is beginning to sound a little “shrill” itself in its careful and side-mouthed denunciations of Russia’s Syria intervention. In policy and opinion pieces language is everything. Articles like this, or their recent attempt to paint Syria as a US-Russian proxy war, spend more time rhetorically impugning Russian motives and capabilities than they do building a historical or evidentiary case for that position.

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The Last Debate

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Burning

Mike Wallace sits ramrod straight in his chair. His eyes twinkle. A hint of emotion plays at the edge of his mouth; it’s not humor, it’s not hunger. Raw anticipation, not free from malice but fueled by something grander.

His limpid lounge-singer’s eyes half-lidded gaze upon the stage of stiff, almost martial competitors. ‘Tonight,’ he thinks. ‘Tonight will be the night.’ Not just another facile primary debate. Tonight he would put an end to it all.

“This next question,” he begins, and pauses. Wallace licks his lips, obviously in anticipation. “This next question, is for all of the candidates.” Continue reading

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Literacy: the Price of Liberty

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Y’all need to stop reading the news.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort. You should want to be informed and involved. That’s what I want for you, to pay attention.

Your news is garbage though. I mean read Reuters. Read UPI. Read AP, Interfax, and CBC. Please. Sift newsfeeds as if there really was gold in those sandy hills.

But don’t read the news. When you read outlets like HuffPo, when you read the Wall Street Journal or USA  Today or the New York Times you’re just going to end up reading repackaged establishment tripe courtesy of some rattle-headed mouthpiece like David Brooks.

The same way we don’t need you people smoking crack and thinking it’s coffee we also don’t need you reading David Brooks and mistaking that for the news.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s talk about this asshole. Let’s talk about David Brooks.  Continue reading

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But Divided They’ll Fall

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There’s a problem with unions in America. They make the market work too well.

I’ve got a trite rule of thumb for when a politician speaks: Assume the opposite and work back to the truth from there. It’ll save you time. So when the hacks from AFP or the various other Right to Work lobbyists start saying that union contracts are anti-free market I’m not surprised to find they’re almost exactly wrong. Continue reading

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Tehran Delendane Est?

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Is this a podcast? Is Iran an existential threat? Can every statement be translated into an urgent question form?

All this, and the background noise of Upstairs Girl rocking out while Will talks shit about John Kerry. Enjoy.

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We Can’t Be Silent, ‘Cause They Might Be Giants

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It’s easy to get into a rut bagging on Republicans. Let’s face it, they go out of their way to look like a sack of stewed assholes. So let’s just take a quick minute here to remind ourselves of something important: the President’s a fucking liar. Continue reading

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Unit Shifter

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Hillary Clinton’s gonna run for President.

I’d just say Hillary Clinton’s gonna be President but the Republicans haven’t even really teased their lineup for 2016 yet and I feel like I’m gonna jinx a good showing if I say too much right now. Can’t write them off entirely yet, gotta give ’em time to feel things out. Let ’em show a little leg.

Reread that sentence, but keep an image of Ted Cruz in your mind. Yeah. Continue reading

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Half-Cocked

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In business and sports and those annoying moments when your buddy takes the skee ball tickets too seriously you get some guy telling you “it’s time to go to WAR!” and probably fist pumping and it’s very exciting and then it’s over and it was not in fact actually war it was probably just a ploy to get people to pay for the overpriced wings and down a couple pitchers of light beer and you remember you don’t see enough of your nephews and really ought to spend more time outside or just get to bed earlier and really you don’t even know why you keep getting talked into this. Jeesh. But the WAR part comes up all the goddamn time and it comes up a lot as a metaphor in politics which is a great way to get people fired up and quite frankly is absolutely wrong and you need to stop doing that.

That’s the convenient thing about war. When a war is over you can take everyone who was a problem and isn’t on your side and put them up against a wall and shoot them. That’s why we call it war.

In politics even when you win the other side is still going to be there. Continue reading

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Come Down From The Mountain

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In modern politics (American at least) it seems there are two basic stances you can take: you can be apolitical, or you can be loud. Nearly everyone seems to agree that this is a problem, and absolutely everyone agrees on the source of the problem.

It is, of course, Those People. They don’t listen. They just don’t understand. I swear to God Margaret, I think They’re being obtuse on purpose. No one could be that stupid. Yet, inexplicably, They are. Continue reading

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